Reducing the Generation Gap

Dads are a great inspiration to their kids. Children always look up to their dad and try to be like them. There is a slight difference in the thinking of the two generations. Either party should try to reduce the generation gap.

This blog post is a discussion between me and my dad.

Before starting with the narration, I want to tell you about a special person: “My Dad”.

My Dad is a graduate from RECW (now NIT Warangal) and has been working in ONGC for about 25 years. So, as far as intellectuality is considered, he is too good. Very disciplined and plans things well ahead (not like me, which is always last minute). He was a basketball and hockey player during his college time. My bro and I got the zeal towards sports from him. My dad used to encourage us in each and every game. During my school days, I should admit that we were really afraid of him. We used to switch off the TV and jump onto our study table once we heard the car sound downstairs (I am sure he knew it then). One good thing is he never said no when we asked permission for sports meets (even during my 10th board exams). The only problem he has is his anger.

It was about 1 year ago during Diwali time. Dad, mom, grandma, and I sat down for dinner. Dad nagged mom that the rice was not made properly, etc. Mom gave excuses, but the thing didn’t stop there. I wasn’t happy with how things were going, so I entered into the discussion (first time ever in 20 years).

Avinesh: “Dad, that’s not the way you criticize a person. If you don’t like something, tell them politely; hopefully, they will understand.”

Dad: “What happened to people nowadays? Have they lost patience and cannot accept criticism?”

Avinesh: “It’s not that way. I am just saying the way you are telling it is pretty rude. It is hurting others’ feelings.”

Dad: “I have been like this my complete life. I cannot change. This is how I am happy.”

Avinesh: (I suddenly became philosophical) “Dad, life is a learning process. It’s not that we know everything. We should learn and unlearn in case someone is suggesting something good.”

Everyone was shocked, and the atmosphere turned silent for a while…

Avinesh: “Sorry if you feel bad, Dad. I didn’t mean to hurt you. It’s just that I wanted to tell you long back but could not get the courage. It’s also not that I am younger than you and can’t tell you if you are doing wrong.” (I tried to convince him that I didn’t mean to hurt him.)

After this, Dad became silent and went out of the house for a long time. After he returned, he did not talk to me. In fact, he did not talk to me for 3-4 days. I waited for the day I was returning back to college. I thought Dad’s anger would come down (but it did not). I was to leave the next day, so I had to settle things down.

I knocked on his room and asked, “Dad, are you still angry at me?” Mom replied, “No, why would he be angry at you?”

I said, “Dad, I am really sorry that I hurt you. I consider you as my friend, so I told you all this. What I said is true. Just give it a try and think about what I have said.”

I felt pretty bad because I hurt him. Later, after a few months, my Dad told the whole story to my brother and was happy that I came and apologized to him. This was the first and last time that I gave my Dad some suggestion as a son. Later, we became good friends and shared things like friends. I tell him about my drinking experiences (very occasional drinker, by the way), girls, etc.

I know many people around me are afraid of their Dad. There is always a way to convince people (especially elder people). If two people get into a heated argument, someone has to come down and apologize, even if he isn’t wrong.

Do share if you had similar experiences.